today was horrendous. absolutely terrible! it was rainy and cold today, which meant i couldn't go running today (i hate it i hate it i hate it) and i binged like a depressed pregnant woman. so i purged. well, not completely, but i did anyways...which wasn't even effective i think because it wasn't even that much... and i still feel huge. TERRIBLE! why do i do this to myself, i haven't the slightest idea. i think i need to respect my body more and not let it become hideous and blubbery. maybe change my outlook on life: do i want to be human or whale?
...so i think i need something to keep me organized and focused. and so i think i shall make myself a plan. for swimsuit season, of course.
SCHOOL DAYS
-breakfast: do not finish breakfast...usually oatmeal or black-bean shake(which tastes terrible by the way, but if it's healthy i'll eat it, damn it)
*throw away/give away snacks that mom packs to eat...to make sure i don't eat it i must do this as SOON as i get to school
-lunch: starve, fat bitch.
*after school: have fruit/yogurt or oatmeal...NOTHING ELSE NOTHING ELSE!!
dinner: try to eat as LITTLE as possible...eat what mom makes but if it seems too fattening (which often is the case) have ONE bowl of cereal
WEEKENDS
breakfast: keep it light with either a drink or oatmeal/cereal/piece of fruit
lunch: fruit! eat fruit!...or starve like a good girl
dinner: whatever mom makes (unless it's fattening...then go for something light)
xoxo,
coco
oh i'm sorry you had an awful day.
ReplyDeletei really do hope that it gets better today.
that plan sounds good, kinda what i'm trying to stick too.
you can do it!
"do i want to be a human or a whale?" bless you dearie, how wonderfully and bluntly put.
ReplyDeletewe will be beautiful xo