Wednesday, September 15, 2010

i hate this

i want to die


i hate myself i hate my body i'm so fat and disgusting and i want to just die

i don't understand why i am so ugly

my friend and his other friend joke around that i'm fat and they don't realize but i want to slit my wrists and die because i fucking hate myself

i am such a fat disgusting ugly cow

fuck my pathetic life

---------------------------------2:02am

took a hot shower for the second time today
purged
my eyes, nose and throat are swollen from crying
my lip is cut and bruised from my fits in the shower

i think i'm ready again. tomorrow i will fast. and starting now i'm going to work towards becoming thin.

going for a run outside even though it's late. waiting for my mom to go upstairs so i can sneak outside. i'm determined to sleep on an empty stomach and sore muscles.

1 comment:

  1. oh dearest.

    you're not disgusting.
    but unless you believe it, there's no point in me telling you.

    you're beautiful, and loved.
    xoxo

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