reasons

sometimes i don't really have a reason.

or do i? maybe there is a small, invisible reason, so tiny yet so important that it gnaws at my mind and my conscience and forces me to act the way i do.

what am i saying? you don't understand me, do you? it's okay because i don't understand myself either.

superficial? well i am made of flesh, i suppose everything on this earth must be superficial then.

temptation to lapse back into old habits and hedonistic pleasures

back into self hate and hatred of others

agony bitterness jealousy envy

lips part, eyes widen and i start to make a move

but i stop myself, shut my lips and avert my eyes.

think before you act, i tell myself myself myself

who am i?

lost in a maze, lost in the crowd

i am trying to find my way home.