Monday, July 18, 2011

summer time



this summer weather is really stifling. i wonder how everyone's doing?
hope you girls are feeling beautiful latelyy

xoxo coco

Sunday, July 10, 2011

isolation

so i've been away from my laptop for a week now, visiting relatives in the middle of nowhere (desert land...)
and finally i come home, weary and eager to catch up on romantic foreign dramas and movies and let out everything here...
when my mom tells me that someone has vandalized my house for the SECOND time. somebody apparently hates me. and i think i know who it is.
the first time, my front lawn was strewn with toilet paper, with breadcrumbs all over the doorstep. the second time, two days ago, my lawn was littered with plastic forks with a letter taped to the front door saying "congrats on fucking graduating"

..okay. i admit, i can be cold to people sometimes. i don't respond to random texts from seedy guys, and i can be withdrawn at times.

but i'm not sorry for working my ass off to get into a prestigious university, and i'm not sorry for not being a bubbly cheerleader who's happy enough to not give a damn about her insecurities.
so there.

haters can continue vandalizing my house and calling me a snob, hard to get, tease, whatever.

no one knows me.

not eating dinner tonight. a week's worth of my aunt's cooking can't be good for my body.

if i'm going to have haters, might as well love myself. by the end of summer i want to be skinnier than i ever was before, and stay that way.

i'm eager to meet the new and improved coco.

xoxo

Friday, July 1, 2011

fast

how does one fast when the day is so slow..?

watch foreign dramas

take a long walk

sleep

...

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

scared

frightened to eat anything
i don't know what to eat
but i'm hungry

i don't want to eat but

eventually i have to, right?

i'm scared
i'm losing weight...

this is weird.. o__o

i don't want to go back, ever, to that weight again...

Thursday, June 23, 2011

care about yourself a little more, dear

so i felt like shit as of late
all i could do was eat and party, no sleep no exercise no nothing.

but i have something to hope for: the university of my dreams, and the boy who'll be attending with me this fall :)

i can do it! so far my skin has been clearing up, which is great. i stopped exercising and eating healthy, but that will have to change.

in fact, i am going to go grocery shopping today, after i go for a jog.

i don't care if it's 100 degrees out. time to slap on some sunscreen and go running daily.

coco you will do this. i want to be 115 lbs by the end of this month. confidence and hope is key. i want i want i need i need i can i can i will!!!!!

i promise this time. PROMISE.

coco.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

pierced my cartilage (hurt like a bitch)

a new boy asked me for my number :)

skin's clearing up

gots to exercise daily :)

does anyone want to be text buddies?
i'm willing to try anything ..