Monday, June 7, 2010


is it really that difficult to control?

are we not more than carnal beings?

is not the soul stronger than the body?

i know i want to be thin because i find it appealing. but there is more. i want to be in control of myself from the spiritual level. i do not want to eat in order to satisfy some insatiable emptiness from within. that emptiness is not hunger for food. it is hunger for something else. for life, for love, for knowledge, for something. but not food.

until then i will keep fighting. until i can decide when to eat. and to eat because it nourishes me, not because i am a mess.

what does eating mean to you? and the reverse? why do you choose to restrict yourself, if you do?


  1. i know what you mean.
    i want to be thin, but i want more than that. and i don't really know what i want. i want someone to care about. i want someone to love me. i want to be able to love them back. but i do not see myself appealing enough for anyone to ever love me, so i restrict in hope that one day i will be lovely enough for someone.
    that's a bit of a mouthful, sorry.

    ps - i have like 20 songs so far. florence and the machine, and 2 songs from bella, and los campesinos. but that's where it ends so far!

  2. hm! i haven't heard of bella and los campesinos before? and no, i actually really like long comments :) helen melon you are lovely, but i get what you mean.

  3. i think it's about feeling in control.
    it is for me.

    what a lovely post.