Saturday, July 3, 2010


just took a 5 minute ice cold shower

and ate a few uncooked dried kidney beans.

i hope this makes me sick enough to make me stop wanting to eat at night.

i'm sorry for those who are probably disgusted/scared of me right now- i don't mind, i feel the same way.

but can't you see i'm left with very few options? starving only goes so far before i collapse and am sent to the hospital, where i will most likely be force-fed. bulimia, which i am told by a very wise person, does not make you skinny and leads to heart failure.

so this seems like the right dose of medicine- minimal eating and a bit of sickness to knock some sense into my food-enchanted brain.

by the way, raw beans taste terrible. i'm feeling dizzy already. going to spend the night listening to beautiful music and lying upside down on my bed. yummy.


  1. find a number which suits you ...1000, 800, 600 ...try and work around that. it might settle the sickness and the dizziness. i am talking calories here but then, aren't i always? anyway, work out what you want ...cause i'm not quite sure.

    both the anorexic and bulimic ends aren't pretty. that's why we have the middle ground.

    take care, xo