curioser and curioser..

today i watched alice in wonderland in 3D... and i must say it was an amazing experience! i loved the visual effects, the costumes, and the ridiculously eccentric characters (johnny depp never fails to impress me, and tim burton couldn't have picked anyone better than helena bonham carter for the red queen). i was overcome with admiration at how beautifully thin and delicate alice looked, and although i realize special effects and photoshop has a bit to do with it, i couldn't help but want so much to be like her one day.

today i took the SAT. it was alright, aside from skipping 3 math problems i feel confident that i might get a decent score... but on a happier note, i finally weighed myself today !! (it's been a week or more)

I LOST 5 POUNDS!!! :) hoorayyyy

today i felt accomplished because my diet consisted of:

-breakfast: too nervous to finish my already miniscule amount of oatmeal, had only a few bites and drank a bit of milk

-SAT: during break i was hungry and my stomach growled a little but i only drank the green tea i brought in a thermos, and one small banana (yes i know, bananas are bad but i had nothing else)

-lunch: i met up with my friend for lunch and a movie; she doesn't know about my obsession with weight so i ordered half of a salad and shared some chips and dip with her

afterwards, we shopped around and i felt disgustingly fat trying on clothes but later i went to the spa to relax and bathe and ate absolutely nothing. unfortunately after around 2-3 hours i felt nauseous and a bit dizzy from the heat and not eating much.. but i laid down a bit and drank some water and it went away, thankfully. when i got home i had a small yogurt because i was scared i would feel dizzy or nauseous again... and here i am, typing. :)

it wasn't GREAT but i feel accomplished for burning more than i ate today, and definitely restricting myself.

-in my earlier entries (i deleted them all out of shame and paranoia and impulse... please understand) i mentioned a special boy interest i have, hehe

i will refer to him as "the boy". haha i know, very creative. anywho, i promised myself to lose weight before meeting him so that i might look my best... and i guess i did achieve my goal, partly!

now i'm going to have to lose even more now, eat less, and keep this ball rolling :)

*p.s. now that the SAT's done with i can do sports 3 times a week now! successssss<3