trash talk

sometimes i can say the most wicked things. i can murder with my tongue, with my mind's hands. i wish i didn't have that in me.

dear me,

please don't set yourself up for failure. you promised yourself, you begged yourself, pleaded- that you would lose at least three pounds this week. you promised not to eat past 7, not to eat junk food or have any chocolate in school. you promised to focus on becoming skinny and losing that jiggly horrendous belly of yours. don't you want to be pretty? don't you want to be loved? don't you want to feel like you belong with all of your beautiful skinny friends?

please, don't forget. please. please. i believe in you.