utter, utter fail.
can you believe that i actually talked myself (yes, i actually did talk to myself) into eating late at night? i told myself,"what's the use. you're not getting prettier and no one likes you anyway" and i ate. i just ate even though i felt a horrible sinking feeling. and afterwards i sat down and laughed at myself, and took a shower. in the shower, as the hot water rolled off my fat, lumpy body i felt a sickening disgust forming within me. i heard a voice hiss at me, dripping with hatred. "you fat, fat, pathetic cow," it said. i could not help myself- i was beyond tears and i wanted to die. growing desperate i plunged my fingers down my throat and purged, my disgust growing bigger as more of the shit came out. it was so disgusting, so very very sick and pathetic. i hate myself and i don't know what will ever become of this fat, pathetic girl.