Saturday, October 23, 2010

tragic

oh girls, thanks for letting me know i'm not alone in this, this endless source of pain and self-loathing. it's so paradoxical that i eat without thinking yet food is always on my mind. why? a sick obsession if you ask me.

oh and i always find a way to break down about something, whatever it is. i hate how my psychotic mindset is getting increasingly harder to hide and reign in. the tears and the screams and the blurriness is getting worse and i can't make myself shut up.


my friends are noticing that i'm acting strange and it's killing me because i want to say everything but at the same time say nothing, nothing at all and just disappear.

i feel so alone. maybe if i'm pretty i'll be loved.

3 comments:

  1. You may feel alone but we are here to help and support you love!!!
    stay strong you gorgeous girl
    xx

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  2. you already are pretty.
    it is so hard, cutting off all connections with everyone, i do it too. but you aren't alone.

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  3. you are pretty and you are loved (especially by me). I understand you totally however, and could have written this, but you would tell me the same, that I am loved.

    I don't understand how we hate ourselves to much, but we are turning to the same conclusions of thin=pretty=loved, when we are. we want to love ourselves but we cant yet.

    There are so many layers to this problem, I cannot even begin to know what I am actually thinking or doing anymore - example - eating when food on mind constantly...

    are we hungry? are we obsessed? are we self-torturing ourselves? and we weak? are we two halves, and the other half is in control? is there more options I don't know about?

    LOVE I DO YOU VERY MUCH.

    ReplyDelete