Saturday, October 23, 2010


oh girls, thanks for letting me know i'm not alone in this, this endless source of pain and self-loathing. it's so paradoxical that i eat without thinking yet food is always on my mind. why? a sick obsession if you ask me.

oh and i always find a way to break down about something, whatever it is. i hate how my psychotic mindset is getting increasingly harder to hide and reign in. the tears and the screams and the blurriness is getting worse and i can't make myself shut up.

my friends are noticing that i'm acting strange and it's killing me because i want to say everything but at the same time say nothing, nothing at all and just disappear.

i feel so alone. maybe if i'm pretty i'll be loved.


  1. You may feel alone but we are here to help and support you love!!!
    stay strong you gorgeous girl

  2. you already are pretty.
    it is so hard, cutting off all connections with everyone, i do it too. but you aren't alone.

  3. you are pretty and you are loved (especially by me). I understand you totally however, and could have written this, but you would tell me the same, that I am loved.

    I don't understand how we hate ourselves to much, but we are turning to the same conclusions of thin=pretty=loved, when we are. we want to love ourselves but we cant yet.

    There are so many layers to this problem, I cannot even begin to know what I am actually thinking or doing anymore - example - eating when food on mind constantly...

    are we hungry? are we obsessed? are we self-torturing ourselves? and we weak? are we two halves, and the other half is in control? is there more options I don't know about?